Once upon a time there was a little girl named Evie Rosa. She lived with her Mama, Daddy, and Big Sissy in a magical land called Suburbia.
One day, Evie and her family set out in Daddy's old truck. Er, I mean, gleaming chariot. They visited many places, and finally ended up at the Magical Health Food Store. It was to be their last stop before journeying back home. Mama was tired, and Evie was being, um, delightful, so Mama decided to wear Evie on her back in the mei tai, also known as a medieval toddler torture device. Evie let Mama know of her displeasure by pulling Mama's hair.
Mama was taking too long finding nutmeg and bulgur and other mysterious things, and Big Sissy was busy smelling all of the soaps and candles, so Daddy did some exploring on his own. During his travels in the store, he found a bag of enchanted Organic All-Natural Fruit Flavored Lollipops, and slipped them into the shopping basket. He also cemented his status as a Knight in Shining Armor by finding a bag of Dark Chocolate Covered Dried Cherries for Mama.
Once the family paid for their purchases and made their way back to their chariot, Daddy pulled out the enchanted Lollipops for his fair daughters. Poor Evie Rosa was confined in yet another toddler torture device (the carseat of doom), but the enchanted Lollipop soon made her happy again.
Alas, this enchanted Lollipop had a dark side. When Evie Rosa was finished with her Lollipop, she noticed that her hands were sticky. Very sticky. Very, very sticky. As with other children her age, Evie delighted in making messes. Unlike other children, Evie couldn't stand to be messy herself. And so, the horror began.
Evie became more and more distraught. Her hands were too sticky. She cried, and rubbed her eyes, and her face became sticky. This upset our fair maiden even more. Big Sister, being ever so helpful, handed Miss Evie a tissue.
What a dreadful mistake. The tissue stuck to Evie's hands, and wouldn't come off. Was it sabotage? Only Big Sissy knows for sure. Evie cried louder and louder.
But wait! Mama had an idea! She reached into the giant Bottomless Diaper Bag and pulled out her secret weapon, the shiny Box of Wipes. Was this the end of the evil Enchanted Lollipop goo? Was the day saved? Sadly, no. The Box of Wipes was empty. Oh, dear.
Poor Evie had to wait until the family arrived home to their castle before she could wash her hands. It was a tragedy. She let her family, and everyone within hearing distance, know of her displeasure. Luckily, a nice afternoon nap made her feel all better.
Mama refilled the magic Box of Wipes, and returned it to its rightful place in the Bottomless Diaper Bag, and she banished the Enchanted Lollipops to the kitchen counter, where little hands cannot reach them. (Unless, of course, they are aided by the Forbidden Footstool. But that is another story...)
Once again, all is well in the land of Suburbia.
~~~The End~~~
