Special Needs & Seeing our Children through the Eyes of Others

When I look at Evie, I see the most beautiful 2 year old on the planet. I see my daughter, a little stinker, a bossy little girl, a Doodlebop fan, a beautiful dancer. I don't see a misshapen nose and a bunch of scars. It comes as a surprise to me when that's what others see.

It doesn't bother me if children ask questions. At the park, one little girl asked me what was wrong with Evie's nose. I just said that she was born that way. Simple, but mostly true. The little girl accepted that truth, and had a blast playing with Evie. It stopped mattering after her curiosity was sated.

We took Evie out for her birthday yesterday. We went out to lunch at the River House, then to Teddy Set Go (it's like Build a Bear). At Teddy Set Go, Emily picked out a white unicorn. Evie went around to all of the animals, but held onto the pink flamingo a little longer than any other, so that's what we picked out for her. She is now stuffed and fat, and Evie named her Bird, which she signs beautifully. The lady who was helping us asked about her scar. It turns out that her son was born with cleft lip and palate. He is now a teenager and doing wonderfully. We ended up having an interesting conversation, and I'm glad that she brought it up.

Anyway, we were eating lunch yesterday. Evie got applesauce and mac and cheese for lunch, and had a blast feeding herself that, plus some of Em's fries, and the bread off of our sandwiches. At the end of the meal, I think she was wearing more applesauce than she actually ate. No problem! I had my handy-dandy diaper bag packed with an extra outfit. Off to the restroom we went. I stuck Evie up on the diaper changing table and stripped her shirt and jeans off so I could replace them. I was just starting to put her new shirt on when a lady stopped by the sink to wash her hands. She got as far as "what a cute little... ***GASP***!!!!" and I knew that she had seen Evie's scars. She didn't even finish her sentence, but also didn't ask any questions. She wouldn't even look at us. Don't know if that is good or bad. I wonder if she thought that we had something to do with it...

I wonder how Evie will feel in the future. Dr. P has said that the scars will fade as she gets bigger, but what happens when she is older and goes swimming? Em said that we can get her a board suit (I guess long sleeves and longer shorts?), but why should she have to decide between a dorky suit or showing off her scars? Will she get teased, or will she be accepted for who she is? My heart hurts for her, all the wondering and worrying about her future. I would gladly take her scars and future surgeries for her, if only I could.